The New York Times reported Feb. 15 that British actor Kenneth Haigh died Feb. 4 in the UK at age 86. For those who don't know the name, Haigh played the very memorable role of Simon Marshall in one of the best scenes in "A Hard Day's Night." He was the man who didn't recognize George Harrison as he lectured him on how he was supposed to be hip to "Susan." "Oh, that posh bird who gets everything wrong," George snapped at him. But his other roles included playing Brutus in "Cleopatra" with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton,
Here's the dialogue from the scene with George Harrison and Kenneth Haigh. You can see the scene at the bottom.
SECRETARY
(proudly)
Will this do, Simon?
SIMON
(looking at George)
Not bad, dolly, not really bad.
(he motions to George)
Turn around, chicky baby.
GEORGE does so.
SIMON
Oh yes, a definite poss. He'll look good
alongside Susan.
(he indicates the girl on the poster)
All right, Sunny Jim, this is all going to be
quite painless. Don't breathe on me, Adrian.
ADRIAN has recognised GEORGE and is trying to stop SIMON.
GEORGE
Look, I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid there's
been some sort of a misunderstanding.
SIMON
(sharply)
Oh, you can come off it with us. You don't have
to do the old adenoidal glottal stop and carry
on for our benefit.
GEORGE
I'm afraid I don't understand.
SIMON
Oh, my God, he's a natural.
SECRETARY (anxiously)
Well, I did tell them not to send us any more
real ones.
SIMON
They ought to know by now the phonies are much
easier to handle. Still he's a good type.
He now speaks to GEORGE in the loud voice that the English reserve for
foreigners and village idiots.
SIMON
We want you to give us your opinion on some
clothes for teenagers.
GEORGE
Oh, by all means, I'd be quite prepared for
that eventuality.
SIMON
Well, not your real opinion, naturally. It'll
be written out and you'll learn it.
(to secretary)
Can he read?
GEORGE
Of course I can.
SIMON
I mean lines, ducky, can you handle lines?
GEORGE
I'll have a bash.
SIMON
Good. Hart, get him whatever it is they drink,
a cokearama?
GEORGE
Ta.
SIMON
Well, at least he's polite. Tony Show him the
shirts, Adrian.
A collection of shirts are produced and GEORGE looks at them. While he
is doing this SIMON briefs him.
SIMON
Now, you'll like these. You really "dig" them.
They're "fab" and all the other pimply
hyperboles.
GEORGE
I wouldn't be seen dead in them. They're dead
grotty.
SIMON
Grotty?
GEORGE
Yeah, grotesque.
SIMON
(to secretary)
Make a note of that word and give it to Susan.
I think it's rather touching really. Here's
this kid trying to give me his utterly
valueless opinion when I know for a fact within
four weeks he'll be suffering from a violent
inferiority complex and loss of status if he
isn't wearing one of these nasty things. Of
course they're grotty, you wretched nit, that's
why they were designed, but that's what you'll
want.
GEORGE
But I won't.
SIMON
You can be replaced you know, chicky baby.
GEORGE
I don't care.
SIMON
And that pose is out too, Sunny Jim. The new
thing is to care passionately, and be right
wing. Anyway, you won't meet Susan if you don't
cooperate.
GEORGE
And who's this Susan when she's at home?
SIMON
(playing his ace)
Only Susan Campey, our resident teenager.
You'll have to love her. She's your symbol.
GEORGE
Oh, you mean that posh bird who gets
everything wrong?
SIMON
I beg your pardon?
GEORGE
Oh, yes, the lads frequently gather round the
T.V. set to watch her for a giggle. Once we
even all sat down and wrote these letters
saying how gear she was and all that rubbish.
SIMON
She's a trend setter. It's her profession!
GEORGE
She's a drag. A well-known drag. We turn the
sound down on her and say rude things.
SIMON
Get him out of here!!
GEORGE
(genuinely surprised)
Have I said something amiss?
SIMON
Get him out of here. He's knocking the
programme's image!!
The underlings hustle GEORGE to the door.
GEORGE
(smiling)
Sorry about the shirts.
He is ejected through the door.
SIMON
Get him out.
(he stops in mid-shout)
You don't think he's a new phenomenon, do you?
SECRETARY
You mean an early clue to the new direction?
SIMON
(rummaging in his desk)
Where's the calendar?
(he finds it)
No, he's just a trouble maker. The change isn't
due for three weeks. All the same, make a note
not to extend Susan's contract. Let's not take
any unnecessary chances!
