Friday, February 16, 2018

RIP - Kenneth Haigh, cast member in 'A Hard Day's Night'



The New York Times reported Feb. 15 that British actor Kenneth Haigh died Feb. 4 in the UK at age 86. For those who don't know the name, Haigh played the very memorable role of Simon Marshall in one of the best scenes in "A Hard Day's Night." He was the man who didn't recognize George Harrison as he lectured him on how he was supposed to be hip to "Susan." "Oh, that posh bird who gets everything wrong," George snapped at him.  But his other roles included playing Brutus in "Cleopatra" with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton,

Here's the dialogue from the scene with George Harrison and Kenneth Haigh.  You can see the scene at the bottom. 
     SECRETARY  
  (proudly) 
  Will this do, Simon?  

    SIMON 
   (looking at George) 
  Not bad, dolly, not really bad. 
   (he motions to George) 
  Turn around, chicky baby. 

 GEORGE does so.

    SIMON 
  Oh yes, a definite poss. He'll look good 
  alongside Susan. 
   (he indicates the girl on the poster) 
  All right, Sunny Jim, this is all going to be 
  quite painless. Don't breathe on me, Adrian.

 ADRIAN has recognised GEORGE and is trying to stop SIMON.

    GEORGE 
  Look, I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid there's 
  been some sort of a misunderstanding.

    SIMON 
   (sharply) 
  Oh, you can come off it with us. You don't have 
  to do the old adenoidal glottal stop and carry 
  on for our benefit.

    GEORGE 
  I'm afraid I don't understand.

    SIMON 
  Oh, my God, he's a natural.

    SECRETARY (anxiously) 
  Well, I did tell them not to send us any more 
  real ones.

    SIMON 
  They ought to know by now the phonies are much 
  easier to handle. Still he's a good type.

 He now speaks to GEORGE in the loud voice that the English reserve for 
 foreigners and village idiots.

    SIMON 
  We want you to give us your opinion on some 
  clothes for teenagers.

    GEORGE 
  Oh, by all means, I'd be quite prepared for 
  that eventuality.

    SIMON
  Well, not your real opinion, naturally. It'll 
  be written out and you'll learn it. 
   (to secretary) 
  Can he read?

    GEORGE 
  Of course I can.

    SIMON 
  I mean lines, ducky, can you handle lines?

    GEORGE 
  I'll have a bash.

    SIMON 
  Good. Hart, get him whatever it is they drink, 
  a cokearama?

    GEORGE 
  Ta.

    SIMON 
  Well, at least he's polite. Tony Show him the 
  shirts, Adrian.

 A collection of shirts are produced and GEORGE looks at them. While he 
 is doing this SIMON briefs him.

    SIMON 
  Now, you'll like these. You really "dig" them. 
  They're "fab" and all the other pimply 
  hyperboles.

    GEORGE 
  I wouldn't be seen dead in them. They're dead 
  grotty.

    SIMON 
  Grotty?

    GEORGE 
  Yeah, grotesque.

    SIMON 
   (to secretary) 
  Make a note of that word and give it to Susan. 
  I think it's rather touching really. Here's 
  this kid trying to give me his utterly 
  valueless opinion when I know for a fact within 
  four weeks he'll be suffering from a violent 
  inferiority complex and loss of status if he 
  isn't wearing one of these nasty things. Of 
  course they're grotty, you wretched nit, that's 
  why they were designed, but that's what you'll 
  want.

    GEORGE 
  But I won't.

    SIMON 
  You can be replaced you know, chicky baby.

    GEORGE 
  I don't care.

    SIMON 
  And that pose is out too, Sunny Jim. The new 
  thing is to care passionately, and be right 
  wing. Anyway, you won't meet Susan if you don't 
  cooperate.

    GEORGE 
  And who's this Susan when she's at home?

    SIMON 
   (playing his ace) 
  Only Susan Campey, our resident teenager. 
  You'll have to love her. She's your symbol.

    GEORGE 
  Oh, you mean that posh bird who gets 
  everything wrong?

    SIMON 
  I beg your pardon?

    GEORGE 
  Oh, yes, the lads frequently gather round the 
  T.V. set to watch her for a giggle. Once we 
  even all sat down and wrote these letters 
  saying how gear she was and all that rubbish.

    SIMON 
  She's a trend setter. It's her profession!

    GEORGE 
  She's a drag. A well-known drag. We turn the 
  sound down on her and say rude things.

    SIMON 
  Get him out of here!!

    GEORGE 
   (genuinely surprised) 
  Have I said something amiss?

    SIMON 
  Get him out of here. He's knocking the 
  programme's image!!

 The underlings hustle GEORGE to the door.

    GEORGE 
   (smiling) 
  Sorry about the shirts.

 He is ejected through the door.

    SIMON 
  Get him out. 
   (he stops in mid-shout) 
  You don't think he's a new phenomenon, do you?

    SECRETARY 
  You mean an early clue to the new direction?

    SIMON 
   (rummaging in his desk) 
  Where's the calendar? 
   (he finds it) 
  No, he's just a trouble maker. The change isn't 
  due for three weeks. All the same, make a note 
  not to extend Susan's contract. Let's not take 
  any unnecessary chances!